Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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