How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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