i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you win again, gameday.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
pray to the hookup gods
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
