I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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