I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
