yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
