are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
