did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize