we're chasing vodka with high fives
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Randomize