I CAN MOONWALK!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
