he puts the penis in happiness.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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