why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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