Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
