At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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