I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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