Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
splinters make it hard to masturbate
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
