so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
