Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
from now on my penis is your penis
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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