I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
