just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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