Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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