Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize