I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
