I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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