Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
should my penis look like a turkey
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
