Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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