Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
