Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
