Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
