4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I could have mohawked her pubes.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
