Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
