On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
