I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
