did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize