I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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