Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
