With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
