How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
