I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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