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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now

  (810): View more from Michigan

  But I don't think guys love me

  Fav 3 1023 1113

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.

  Fav 7 3544 889

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• (916): View more from California

  He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.

  Fav 15 5518 1636

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like

  Fav 6 3584 1255

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• (516): View more from New York

  i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets

  Fav 6 2972 1009

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?

  Fav 10 2882 911

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut

  Fav 9 3055 959

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!

  Fav 13 2286 962

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.

  Fav 3 660 574

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled

  Fav 7 1077 659

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt

  Fav 3 470 720

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.

  Fav 1 213 162

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.

  Fav 3 51 24

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