If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
