What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
