some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize