If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
