We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
