i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
What a fucking waste of an outfit
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
