it wasn't lemon gatorade
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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