just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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