Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
