No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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