i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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