My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I party with great urgency now.
Panties = found
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
