i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
