a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
