There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
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