Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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