idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize