imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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