either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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