you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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