you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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