Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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