loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
