I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
