John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
