I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize