The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Mom said you looked used
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
