If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
