WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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