So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
