my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
