Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize