i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
