one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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