dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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