If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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