Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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