The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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