hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
