Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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