she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize