it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
